The Impact of Family Violence on Children

Introduction

Just as there are many different types of family, there are also many different types of family violence. Research has shown that “exposure to family violence crosses socioeconomic and cultural boundaries, occurring in all groups within society.”[1] The statistics also show that family violence between couples who have children is more prevalent, more severe and of longer duration.[2] Not only is violence more likely when there are children in the house, the abused parent is more likely to stay with the abuser for longer, for the sake of the children.[3] The truly problematic nature of this cycle becomes obvious when we realise that “[a]lthough any level of violence can be disturbing for a child, exposure to severe or repeated violence is more likely to leave children traumatized.”[4] Children may be harmed by family violence in many ways. They may be the direct target of physical or psychological violence, they may be injured indirectly by physical violence aimed at another, or they may suffer psychological damage as a witness to family violence. To make matters worse, the violence and the consequent injury to children does not just go away when the family separates. However, just as there are many types of family and many types of violence, there are also many different protective factors that can minimise the damage that children suffer.

Children as Victims of Family Violence

The many ways in which children can be injured as a result of direct physical violence being used against them are tragically all too easy to imagine. It is important to note that “[c]hildren who are exposed to domestic violence are 15 times more likely to be physically abused and neglected than the average child.”[5] The impact of intense, prolonged family violence on a child goes far beyond cuts, bruises and broken bones. It “disrupts the very organisation of the child's sense of self, and the way he or she is able to think about and process the world around them.”[6] It can affect their enjoyment of life and their general health on an ongoing basis. Approximately one in three children exposed to family violence report having recurrent health problems.[7]

Family violence poisons the home environment for children. Even very minor incidents of violence if repeated over and over again can build up a toxic level of stress for some children.[8] The impact can be felt through generation as boys, in particular, who witness or are subjected to family violence “are more likely to later perpetrate violence against their female partners.”[9]

Psychological and Emotional Abuse

Some researchers suggest that exposure to family violence is a form of psychological abuse in its own right. They point out that “children who witness violence experience the same level of negative psychosocial outcomes as children who directly experience physical abuse.”[10] Others suggest that witnessing family violence should not be mistakenly seen as a passive activity. The damage does not occur from children passively absorbing the violence like sponges. Instead they are “actively engaged in interpreting, predicting, assessing their role in causing the violence, worrying about consequences, problem solving and/or taking measures to protect themselves, physically and emotionally”[11] Their role is not static, either. As they grow older they may take the risk of attempting to intervene between the abuser and the abused, or take responsibility for protecting younger siblings.

This protective impulse illustrates another impact of family violence on children. The literature shows that the impact of witnessing family violence is twofold. The child not only suffers the psychological shock of seeing or hearing or knowing that someone they love is being hurt, they are often also temporarily or more permanently deprived of the care which that loved person, normally their mother, otherwise would provide them.[12] A mother who is “chronically overwhelmed”[13] may inadvertently pass that sense of hopelessness and despair on to her children. At the same time, she is less able to be “a thinking, reflective parent who can buffer them from the violence, or lend them a healthy, reflective mind with which to make sense of their experience and recover from it.”[14] We must also recognise that family violence impacts on children by separating them from the abuser, about whom they may have very strong conflicting feelings. Those working to help children develop self-protective measures “need to be aware that offering children a space to develop safety plans, without a space to speak their love for their father, may also shut down their voice.”[15] While shared care plans in situations where there has been family violence and where there is continuing high conflict have a damaging psychological impact on children,[16] there are suggestions that regular, appropriately protective, supervised contact may be beneficial in ameliorating depression and helping children adjust to life after separation.[17]

Resilience and Protective Factors

As many studies have found, not all children are adversely impacted by family violence. In a very recent study of children aged 9-13 who had been exposed to family violence it was found that approximately “half of the children perceived their quality of life to be as good as a comparison sample of children in the same age range.”[18] Another study of younger children found that “a third

of these children fared as well as or better than children who had not witnessed violence.”[19] Some children may even “show resilience, which is defined as not simply the absence of pathology but the presence of competence in the face of crisis.”[20] The ability to develop resilience depends on the family circumstances, connection with the community, and a strong attachment to positive, supportive and caring adult.[21] It also depends on the age of the child (with older children being more resilient), the level of family violence and the mother’s mental health.[22]

The temperament of the child is another relevant factor. Children who experience very intense emotional reactions to ordinary everyday stimuli are less likely to be resilient and more likely to experience a negative impact from family violence. “Higher negative emotionality and lower emotion regulation have been shown longitudinally to be unique predictors of internalizing problems for both maltreated and non-maltreated children.”[23] However, it is good to remember that even damaged children have been observed to repair over time with the cessation of violence and appropriate support.[24]

Parental attachment appears to be the strongest protective factor against the impact of family violence on children. A mother who is able to maintain a secure connection with her children in the midst of chaotic family violence will greatly reduce the negative impact on them. “Double insecurity (insecure attachment to both parents) has been found to be predictive of more behavioral problems than insecure attachment to only one parent, as rated by the children themselves, their parents, and their teachers.”[25] If the parents are caught up in the cycle of family violence and emotionally unavailable to the child, this protective function may in some cases be provided by a “strong relationship with another familiar, available, competent, caring, mindful, adult figure.”[26] The ability to repair the damage caused by witnessing family violence occurs through reassurance, through situating the violence within an age-appropriate explanatory framework that the child can understand and through allowing the child to talk about his or her experiences.[27]

How Professionals Can Help

Family Lawyers and Family Dispute Resolution Practitioners can support parental attachment and assist in reducing the impact of family violence on children in a number of ways. It is very important to realise that resilience must be built, “rather than assuming that it is an inherent property of the child.”[28] Professionals can assist parents to explore their child’s quality of life, including “security and safety, agency and control in everyday life, freedom, fun, and physical health.”[29] It is also important to challenge shared care or contact arrangements that do not prioritise the safety of the child.

Family law professionals are ideally placed to provide parents with warm referrals for children to therapeutic interventions aimed at developing resilience skills and to work with the abused parent to increase her safety and that of the children. This can be promoted by referring parents to “programs that target the parent’s awareness and ability to help children manage their emotions”[30] which can have a protective effect against the negative impacts of family violence.

Conclusion

Family violence has an undeniable impact on the well-being of children, regardless of whether they are the target of the violence or a concerned observer. The effects can be seen in poor health, behavioural problems and an inability to perform the functions normally expected of a child of their age. If not addressed, these effects may affect the child’s whole life, and the lives of their future spouse and children. The impact of family violence arises from both the toxic stress of a terrifying situation and the diminution of each parent’s ability to care for the child. However, not every child is damaged by family violence. A naturally resilient temperament combined with a strong attachment to a caring adult acts as a protective factor. Skilling parents and children in emotional awareness and regulation can be of great assistance in building resilience and repairing the negative impact of family violence. Family law professionals can help by providing referrals to such programs and by challenging arrangements that do not prioritise the safety of children.